Noms and Dinosaurs

Happy New Year! It's been a turbulent and lovely 2018.  We had our big wedding, we received tough news about both of our sets of grandparents, and things have been topsy-turvy. I'm in a counseling degree program right now and I'm not sure if that's what I want to do for the rest of my life.  I love helping people, but would I be doing it at my own expense?  I'm not sure. For now, I'm not sure what the future brings, but I want to be secure and happy.  Sure, I have a desk job and that's all fine and dandy, but just  having a desk job is depressing.  It's time to put some effort into creating life beyond the cube. I like all sorts of shit--dinosaurs, cooking, foraging, different languages, planning parties, drawing, etc.   Blogging will be new too.  I don't want to overcomplicate writing, so I'm just slapping it out there, few revisions.  I'm sure writing will improve as time goes on. This will be cool :) -a

I'm going to be a blueberry pop tart for Halloween, which makes my Pinterest Brain leap for joy! Not only is the blueberry pop tart far superior to all other tarts, but this will be something I invest some legit time in.  I tend to skimp on Halloween.  It's not that I don't like dressing up and having fun, but I'm lazy when it comes to putting a costume together.  I typically just take it out of the package. I dug around on the ol' Amazon and found the individual pieces for the costume: Blue cable knit hat Royal blue shirt Royal blue cropped trouser pants Children's sized denim flats I'm going to have to hit Michael's for some cardboard and paint on some icing and sprinkle goodness.  I'm beyond pumped! I'll post pics of the final blueberry goodness once its all good to go. -a

"Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of, but stigma and bias shame us all." --Bill Clinton God damn, this is a tough post to write. You know, mental illness has been the focal point of attention and there's been a call to end the judgment or shame in someone caring for their mental well-being and getting treatment.  I am so thankful for all of the effort that's been put into making mental health a priority, but it can be a true shock to not only meet, but report to someone who has zero sense of human empathy.  Here's a bit of info that most don't know about me: I see a psychiatrist once a week.  I've been seeing her for over two years after the death of my brother.  She has created a safe haven for me to not only cope with the loss, but the alcoholism that developed in the aftermath. I started seeing her in my previous position at a university and received comforting support to seek medical care.  They were with me the day my brother was diagno...

“Like a lotus flower, we too have the ability to rise from the mud…bloom out of the darkness and radiate into the world”. –unknown It’s so easy to get stuck in the mud when it comes to day-to-day happenings.   Interpersonal conflict, the never-ending adulting headaches of work, bills, deadlines—all that fun stuff.   I was reflecting on this phenomenon this morning and thought about it.   During the toughest jobs, the most difficult situations, and overall general times of crappiness, I don’t remember the day-to-day minutia.   To be honest, I reflect through a different lens.   I remember the fun times, the acts of kindness, the adventures and friendships I had (or still have), and the opportunities and help I had along the way. Just that one thought made me reflect on how things are for me right now.   I am in the midst of a conflict at work that has escalated.   That’s caused stress, tension, irritability, and physical tightness in my nec...

Right now, I am in the midst of a tense situation at work.  The intensity and uncertainty of conflict at work is like none other.  Work, as a friend of mine called it, is essentially a collective dormitory where folks from all walks of life come together and work towards a common goal.  I couldn’t agree more.  Work becomes an organic living infrastructure and like a dormitory, it can sometimes lead to conflict.  This is where I’m at this week.   This conflict has been nearly a year’s worth of escalated incidences, trampled boundaries, and lack of human empathy from what few have called my workplace bully, or WPB.   Now, I could tell you all about what Google has to say about bullying, but I want to share my experience authentically.  When I was hired last year,  good impressions were made all around and my WPB and I started our work place acquaintanceship with no problems at all.  As time flowed, our differences started t...

Could We Skip This Song?   A Love Story This weekend, my fiancé Jon and I went to Bend, OR for a weekend getaway.   The weather was perfect for window-shopping in the downtown area.   A lovely dress caught my eye in one particular boutique, so we both went inside to browse.   To my delight, they had my size and with the thumbs up from both Jon and the lovely store owner, I went into the dressing room to try it on. That’s when the song came on: “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” by Isreal Kamakawiwo’ole. This song, though beautiful, is a knife to the heart.   This song was played at the memorial service of my youngest brother, Alex.   You know, it’s so easy to get lost in your own mind when you’re triggered by an event in your past.   I went from being present in a boutique to standing in a cold church recreation room where the family gathered after Alex’s service.   I saw the white linoleum on the floors, the red eyes of the bereaved...