I Found My Voice

Right now, I am in the midst of a tense situation at work.  The intensity and uncertainty of conflict at work is like none other.  Work, as a friend of mine called it, is essentially a collective dormitory where folks from all walks of life come together and work towards a common goal.  I couldn’t agree more.  Work becomes an organic living infrastructure and like a dormitory, it can sometimes lead to conflict.  This is where I’m at this week.

 

This conflict has been nearly a year’s worth of escalated incidences, trampled boundaries, and lack of human empathy from what few have called my workplace bully, or WPB.

 

Now, I could tell you all about what Google has to say about bullying, but I want to share my experience authentically.  When I was hired last year,  good impressions were made all around and my WPB and I started our work place acquaintanceship with no problems at all.  As time flowed, our differences started to become uncovered.  I am overly empathetic; WPB is not.  I am compassionate with circumstances beyond control, just as sick time or mental health needs; WPB feels work trumps all.  I have medical needs that must be met; in WPB’s mind, that is worth challenging.  The clashes go on and on.  As time progressed, things deteriorated, at which point I reached out for help from my organization.  My organization answered the call and help is on its way.

 

But let me tell you—being in this moment in your life sucks.  It’s tense.  The energy here is now rife with betrayal, anger, and disbelief.  I felt my own inner bully (Trunchbull) telling me that this situation was entirely my fault.  I am rocking the boat and I’m going to piss off a lot of people.  I am putting myself at risk for losing respect in the workplace.  I sent a prayer to the Universe last night for a sense of peace and grounding during this challenging time. 

 

This morning, I awoke with a strong sense of self.  The Universe answered my call for help.  I felt a swell of determination coming in to work today.  It is NOT ok to be bullied and it is my right to take care of myself.  I will not stand for someone making my work-life miserable.  I am bringing this to the attention of our leaders because I deserve to be treated with respect.  My empathy for others will not outweigh the compassion I have for myself.  

For the first time, I found my voice.  I am putting my well-being and happiness over the fear of people disliking me or being angry with me.  As I move forward with this new skill, I feel steady during this uncertain and challenging time.  This is a change in outlook for me and I hope it can provide some inspiration for you as well.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it.