"Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of, but stigma and bias shame us all." --Bill Clinton
God damn, this is a tough post to write.
You know, mental illness has been the focal point of attention and there's been a call to end the judgment or shame in someone caring for their mental well-being and getting treatment. I am so thankful for all of the effort that's been put into making mental health a priority, but it can be a true shock to not only meet, but report to someone who has zero sense of human empathy.
Here's a bit of info that most don't know about me: I see a psychiatrist once a week. I've been seeing her for over two years after the death of my brother. She has created a safe haven for me to not only cope with the loss, but the alcoholism that developed in the aftermath.
I started seeing her in my previous position at a university and received comforting support to seek medical care. They were with me the day my brother was diagnosed, all the way up to his passing and the deep grief that drowned me.
Fast forward to last September, when I started my current role--I am reporting to someone who not only discounts the importance of my appointments, but someone who challenges me on why. I have never in my life encountered such a scenario. She would be frustrated that I would be gone once a week (my appointments were taken during my lunch hour) and even make comments about why I go and "why are you sad about this? Isn't this something your mom would have a tougher time with?"
I never once believed that some people truly challenge or question the reasoning behind seeking help. Being the employee of that kind of individual is a devastating experience; having someone poke and attack the most vulnerable part of yourself. There really are people like that.
After months of failed attempts at communication, respectful confrontation, coaching, mediation, and more repeated coaching, I had reached my limit. I filed a formal complaint with HR two weeks ago. Today, I was pulled aside congratulating me on my courage and let me know that they were here to ensure I had a safe place to work. I was supported and heard. I was beyond grateful. As of right now, the fighting for the right to care is done. I have emerged victorious and I can't begin to describe how it feels.
Standing up for myself and my well-being was an arduous and terrifying task, but I'm worth it. I hope everyone knows that they're worth it too.
God damn, this is a tough post to write.
You know, mental illness has been the focal point of attention and there's been a call to end the judgment or shame in someone caring for their mental well-being and getting treatment. I am so thankful for all of the effort that's been put into making mental health a priority, but it can be a true shock to not only meet, but report to someone who has zero sense of human empathy.
Here's a bit of info that most don't know about me: I see a psychiatrist once a week. I've been seeing her for over two years after the death of my brother. She has created a safe haven for me to not only cope with the loss, but the alcoholism that developed in the aftermath.
I started seeing her in my previous position at a university and received comforting support to seek medical care. They were with me the day my brother was diagnosed, all the way up to his passing and the deep grief that drowned me.
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| Support from a loving friend. |
Fast forward to last September, when I started my current role--I am reporting to someone who not only discounts the importance of my appointments, but someone who challenges me on why. I have never in my life encountered such a scenario. She would be frustrated that I would be gone once a week (my appointments were taken during my lunch hour) and even make comments about why I go and "why are you sad about this? Isn't this something your mom would have a tougher time with?"
I never once believed that some people truly challenge or question the reasoning behind seeking help. Being the employee of that kind of individual is a devastating experience; having someone poke and attack the most vulnerable part of yourself. There really are people like that.
After months of failed attempts at communication, respectful confrontation, coaching, mediation, and more repeated coaching, I had reached my limit. I filed a formal complaint with HR two weeks ago. Today, I was pulled aside congratulating me on my courage and let me know that they were here to ensure I had a safe place to work. I was supported and heard. I was beyond grateful. As of right now, the fighting for the right to care is done. I have emerged victorious and I can't begin to describe how it feels.
Standing up for myself and my well-being was an arduous and terrifying task, but I'm worth it. I hope everyone knows that they're worth it too.
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